Winning Hearts
Author: Kulsoom Kazim
Remember what you learned in kindergarten? Treat others the way you want to be treated. Well, treat others better than you want to be treated.
A humble person is not a someone that stands with pride, so even if it means you have to fall, so be it. Remember your place and humbly believe that you are not better than the people around you. They transform you, influence you and help you so be humble in your approach to them. You’ll be surprised at how grateful your character will become, and how many people will look up to you. But don’t make “that” a goal.
Renew your intentions.
People may not recognize you right away, but don’t give up. Understand who everyone is, what everyone wants, and the need everyone shares. It’s ‘Love’
Love comes from a small gift you give to someone or from warmth of a smile. It comes from being kind and dealing with your affairs through the heart.
Don’t be a selfish creature. Be selfless
Don’t hesitate to forgive others. The people with the biggest hearts are those who forgive. People make a mistake once, twice, thrice, they act unreasonably, they attack who you are; the world is cruel, friends aren’t any better, but forgive. It will lighten your heart!
If you choose your words carefully, you’ll stay on the right track. Good speech attracts positivity. Be gentle and calm. Talk softly. People have ears so they can listen to you speak at volume one. Remember grade 2? Say please and thank you.
Find the good in everyone.
Why judge? People weren’t born to please anyone but God, so what gives us the right to judge who they are? Suspicions can be deadly and give people the benefit of the doubt.
Be understanding.
Meaning.
Find out what means the most to someone and make that a means of communicating with them. Be gentle. Talk less, and say more.
When talking to someone, listen to them, listen to how they talk, what they say. Answer back. Interpret their emotions and understand them.
Read their face, follow their actions, and work with every distinct person in a different way. Your style is unique and one, but people out there are many. Smile. I promise it makes a difference. A warm smile is an invitation; a pleasant smile shows who you are and be persistent.
Why win someone’s heart?
Because it’s a great feeling. To get on the same grounds as another human being from a heart to heart relationship is awesome.
Look at my Prophet, Look at your Prophet. He’s the one “Prophet Muhammad” (sualAllahu alayhi wasalam). Did he not win the hearts of many?
Grateful/Humble/Respectful/Kind/Pious/Gentle/Soft/Calm/Warm
Should they not be qualities everyone wants? Should you not want this all?
Disclaimers.
1) Please don’t smile at the “brothers” sisters, or smile at the “sisters” brothers. You will win all the hearts, but at the end of the day the burden of ten different hearts will be too hard to carry ;)
2) If people cannot hear you then you can bump up to volume 2. I said be “gentle”, but not to the point where someone thinks their deaf, just work on that tone!
3) Don’t fall to the ground tomorrow, that’s not being “humble”, people will just think you have medical conditions. Just quit being arrogant. Everyone’s made the same way, and on this Earth for the same purpose.
4) If this is too mushy for you, then good bye.
Let’s make a change
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Marriage on the Radar and Stayin’ Halal
about 5 months ago - 40 comments
Author: Sabour Al-Kandari Due to popular demand, I postponed writing an article about the academic part of University life to write this one about marriage, why am I not surprised? Without further adieu, I present an over-simplified guide to life leading up to marriage. Intention and Preparation First things first, you have to get your
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about 1 month ago
Love this article, an excellent reminder and wonderful tips to help someone keep on track!!
And love the disclaimers loll, they are totally necessary!
The point on point 3 (lol) that everyone is made the same way for the same purpose… it could not be any more true. I mean, look at the principles behind Hajj; two white clothes. That is all everyone wears (although for the sisters I think it’s just any plain white dress); and in that context, you can have the wealthiest businessman, or the most humble of slaves, and you witness how there is nothing there to tell them apart, such is how we are seen through the eyes of Allah, less our deeds, good and bad.
about 1 month ago
Assalamu- Alaykum!
JazakAllahu Khair for reading into this! And you’re right, I felt like people just needed a quick reminder about character and how they should be living their daily lives.
Regarding Umrah/Hajj; For sisters, it’s any colour, as long as it coveres the awrah, so a abaya;jilbab, etc
And to sum all this up, we should basically be striving to attain the characteristics of our beloved Prophet salalla alayhi wassalam.
Thankyou once again, and pass on the word so others can also benefit :)
about 1 month ago
bomb mashaaAllaah. You’re on point with a lot of characteristics we are weak in or lose – courtesy of getting too caught up in this dunya, subhanaAllah.
BarakaAllahu feeki ukhti fi deen.
about 1 month ago
JazakAllahu Khayr for reading and yes this dunya is a hoax and if we want to die a pious death, then it’s important to change out character.
PASS IT ON :)
about 1 month ago
Assalam Alaykum!
Masha’Allah this is a lovely blog Kulsoom.
Good reminder for me, and I will post this on my wall for others to see
You know I see all these qualities in you so your writing honestly showe a lot about who YOU are as a person.
May Allah give us all tawfeeq and guide us to haqq
about 1 month ago
Jazak’Allahu Khayr for passing it on so it can benefit :)
and my writing is always a reminder to my self first and foremost!
about 1 month ago
-Salaam alayki, ukhti filah.
Maa sha’Allah, tabarak’Allah! On point with this article, you feel me? You hit some good points we all should reflect on, especially character. Subhana’Allah, it’s something which as Muslims we should have, as Allah aza wa jal and His messenger (sallallaahu elayhis salaam) have told us.
Barak’Allah feeki wa Jazaki Allahu khayran, Kulsoom<3
about 1 month ago
Wa iyaaki Kayla! And these things are just few of the many great characteristics ot beloved Prophet peace be upo hid had and emphasized upon his ummah! So inshaAllah if there are other qualities you think we should have that would makeus better as human beigns then please do share! Because if he could win hearts from kind words and simple speech then so can we. <3
about 1 month ago
SIster, this is golden advice for all the Creatures of Allah. The worst of attributes is arrogance as one of the Attributes of Allah (SWT) is Mutakabbir ie. The Majestic, he who shows His greatness in all things and in all ways. So how can we simple human beings who eat and defecate, live and die, and become weak and frail think we can be arrogant. Do we think we can compete with Allah?
about 1 month ago
MashaAllah your right on point with your mode of thinking akhi. We are ungrateful creatures who often forget the magnificence of our Lord. It’s honestly shaytaans evil tricks that we lose our character as we go on through life and attain the character of those that are ” cool” and forget that we are going to e held accountable for every word we utter and very step we take in the wrong way. So I hope He th Lord of the Worlds guides us awayyyy from shaytaans and I hope all the blind people can see the greatness of Allah subhana hu wa ta’ala and strive for the sunnah. With that said please pass this blog on so others can benefit as well inshaAllah! And if you feel I missed out any necessary chracteristic then feel free to add. Salamualayk
about 1 month ago
Mash’Allah, excellent work ukhti.
I hope this is a source of inspiration for a lot of people and I look forward to seeing more work, insh’Allah.
BTW call me crazy, but I totally thought that picture was two hands for the longest time.
about 1 month ago
Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,
I had the same picture in mind (two hands) – until I read your comment, scrolled up, re-checked (to see if I was going crazy) – now I see one hand. :s lol.
about 1 month ago
JazakAllah. And more than inspiration I hope people took this as a reflection to help them change for thebetter( my self first and foremost). Also credit goes to you as well for helping me revise my words so they could appeal to people in the manner that they are. BarakAllahu feek. And lolllll I sat there for 5 minutes trying to figure out how and where you saw 2 hands. Sigh but yes Its just one! And u know this picture reminds me of ‘wearing ur heart on ur sleeve’ a whole difffereeent topic but yes alhamdulillah!
about 1 month ago
Maashaa Allah Sister Kulsoom! This is an excellent reminder for us all, especially for me. Shaytaan is a clear enemy towards mankind.
We know that the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam come to perfect good manners, and we should treat others as we should be treated.
By doing so we win the hearts of others that we deal with and it’s the best kind of daw’ah to the non-Muslims but we often forget that the Muslims are in need of this kind of Da’wah as well. We have become unforgiving, harsh, cold, ungrateful, arrogant and fight one another not just physically but in almost every other way. We have been given the Qur’an and Sunnah and we should be most kind and merciful to one another and advise one another if we slip like our beloved sister Kulsoom did May Allah reward her and preserve her (Ameen). We are reminded of the Ahadith:
Tameem ad-Daaree radiallaahu ‘anhu said: The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said (three times): “The Deen is naseehah (sincerity and sincere advice).” We said: To whom? He said: “To Allah, His Book, His Messenger and to the leaders of the Muslims and the general people.” Imam Muslim, sahih (no.55).
From Sahih Muslim in The Book of Tribulations and the Signs of the Last Hour, from The Chapter: This Ummah will be destroyed by killing one another. Thauban reported that Allaah’s Messenger (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: Allaah showed me the whole earth drew and I have seen its eastern and western ends. And the dominion of my Ummah would reach as far as I saw. I was given the red and the white treasures. I begged my Lord for my Ummah that it should not be destroyed because of famine, a general disaster, nor be dominated by an enemy but only themselves fight each other. My Lord said: Muhammad, if I ordain something, there is none to change it. Well, I grant you for your Ummah that it would not be destroyed by famine, a common disaster and it would not be dominated by an external enemy who would take their lives and destroy them even if all the people from the different parts of the world join hands (or said: from al countries)together (for this purpose), but Muslims will fight each other.
Baarakullah Feekum
about 1 month ago
Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu
Jazakum Allah Khayr for reading into this brief blog I wrote. And Barakallahu Feek for your feedback and generous comments.
Just like anyone else, I am a slave of Allah, with a lot of reflection ability and I just want to put my reflection to the use of other brothers and sisters insha’Allah.
And it’s very true, that the kindness in the ummah is certainly dying out, but we as a part of this ummah should hold it together through our speech and actions.
It hurts me when people are vain in their speech and vulgar in actions. I hope that kindness becomes a habit for each and everyone of us insha’Allah
Once again, Jazakum Allah Khayr for reading and commenting!
about 1 month ago
Ukthi this is very beneficial advice mashallah alhamdulillah. My favourite one is ‘find the good in everyone’ It’s very important to reflect upon these things for the betterment of not just our selves but the ummah collectively.
‘And indeed a reminder is a benefit for the beleiver’
about 1 month ago
BarakAllahu Feek
Brother, if you have any other reminders, feel free to drop them below insha’Allah.
My favourite one from here is giving love, because I feel it’s important to share love with everyone no matter what.
about 1 month ago
Assalamalaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
Bismillah.
According to the Quran, and Sunnah, A Muslim is to show nothing but kindness towards each other.
And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).
The Noble Qur’an 42:43
This shows hows much these traits are emphasized in our deen.
And masha’Allah sister Kulsoom you were right to start this article with ‘intentions’ because it is our niyah that is counted and then actions ofcourse, so keeping our intentions sincere at all times is a MUST!
BarakAllahu Feek
May Allah azz wa jall give ALL OF US HERE these qualities and much more, and may He give you rewards for writing such a beneficial piece
The Disclaimers are FUNNY! hhahaha. BarakAllahu Feek once again
Walaykum Assalam
about 1 month ago
Assalamu Alaykum sister!
BarakAllahu Feek for reading and taking out the time to comment :)
and I agree, sincere intention in everything is very important
If you liked this share it and pass it on please :)
Wassalam
about 1 month ago
Awesome reminder..
about 1 month ago
Jazakum Allah Khayr! If you liked it, please pass it on/share insha’Allah!
If it is a good reminder, it should benefit as many people as possible!